I watched Michael Heneke's Amour.

Now I'm set on greeting old age with a crime spree. It reminds me of that poem "Warning":
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And then I'll also rob banks
And maybe kill people
Since they won't let me kill myself.

I think that's how it goes.

It inspired me to try for the better part of an hour to try and find a book club for my grandma to join in her small town in Pennsylvania. I bought her Gillian Flynn's "Gone Girl" for Christmas and really like the idea of her and some old lady friends hating on Nick, hating on Amazing Amy, hating on Nick, hating on Amazing Amy, and then hating on the book all together. But I called the library and the librarian said that there are some in town, but she doesn't know anything about them.
"Then how do you know there are them?" I asked.
"Well I've heard some ladies come in saying they need a certain book for their book clubs," she said.
"So they're like private things?" Me.
"Oh yes," She.
"Well maybe you should start one, you know, at the library, so other people who's only friends left are deaf and blind (or dipshits)*Grandma's words* can talk about the books they read?" Me.
"What's your grandma's name?" She.
"Why?" Me.
"I may know her," She.
"You don't," Me.
"I might!" She.
"She has a kindle!!" Me.
The lady hung up.

So I checked out the town's Senior Community Center homepage. January's calendar is filled up with exactly three things happening every day: Computer, Pool, Puzzles. Except on January 23rd, at 11AM, there's some sort of talk with Beth Sawyer of the American Red Cross called "Preparing for a Disaster." I can only hope it involves some sort of craft.

When I'm an old woman I shall wear purple
And pay all my bills with elaborate structures made of pipe cleaners
And tears 
And cat hairs
Until someone pays attention to me.

The movie was highly depressing...mostly because it's still not as depressing as real life end of life is. Why? They had each other...oh, and a super nice house and money for a nurse and a guy to bring up the Evian and fresh flowers and French accents and no TV on the premises. Heneke deserves 100 awards for not including one dramatic push-in with the camera or one dramatic swell of strings to enhance what again, is already the most depressing subject matter in the world. It's dangerous territory. I imagine if there was a wall-to-wall game show soundtrack, everyone in the theater would have turned to the person next to them with a pillow in hand and a determined look on their face that says: end it all right now. right here. i don't care how well the SPF has been working on my under eye area! do it! do it now!

2013: I will get older. I will watch more movies. I will visit my grandma more. I will do the things I say I will.